Thursday, February 11, 2016

Week 4 Storytelling: Battle of Wills

Author's Note

I'll be honest, I did not like Viswamithra's character as portrayed in the reading I did this week, Amar Chitra Katha volume Vishwamitra: The King Who Became An Ascetic.

I found him to be overly egotistic, aggressive, and power-hungry. Initially, he seemed very wise and sage-like in the Ramayana, so I was interested in reading more about him. He seemed a little stern, but certainly not as power-obsessed as he was portrayed in the Amar Chitra Katha.

However, there were certainly segments to his story which caught my attention. Namely, his battle with Vashista and when he created a new heaven for a selfish king. I think I could have made sage-on-sage battle pretty cool, with the spells and danger, but ultimately, I did not have enough dramatic conflict to really capture me.

This story, however, has all that. Our hero is not someone who we initially root for. He is doing a morally questionable task for morally questionable reasons. Viswamithra wants to send King Trisanku to heaven solely so that he can prove how powerful he is, while Trisanku wants to go to heaven before he even dies, simply because of his own selfish reasons. Multiple sages and even the Gods have already denied Trisanku entry, citing his moral ineptitude. But that does not stop Viswamithra. Stubborn, aggressive, and ultra-competitive, Viswamithra promises to get Trisanku into heaven no matter what.

Battle of Wills

The yogic circle of candles and incense spiraled in a brilliant mandala. Trisanku, the fallen king, huddled meekly in the middle of the sacred circle. He looked so alone, and so unspeakably ugly squatting there on the dirt. His skin was grimy, covered in ash, his hair unkempt, his cheeks shallow. Viswamithra could see his bony frame beneath a taut layer of sooty skin. He was an untouchable, the lowest caste.

Viswamithra pitied the man. Trisanku had once been a powerful king, before that terrible, no-good sage Vashista and his sons had transformed him into an untouchable. Viswamithra hated Vashista. He'd humiliated him. Twice. That short-sighted fool, he thought bitterly as he recited the ceremonial mantra, calling upon the aid of the Gods. That self-righteous moron. Mark my words, Vashista, I will surpass you. 

He would start with Trisanku. Vashista had ignored the king's plea. Viswamithra was determined to aid the king at any cost. I will do what you cannot, you pious prick. 

He clasped his hands in prayer and channeled his spiritual power into his throat, imbibing his words with divine energy. He could sense his voice carrying out over the heavens. With a final syllable, he raised his hands to the sky and shouted, "Gods! Hear me now! Accept this man, King Trisanku, into your heavenly realms! I command you!"

He waited for a moment in ever more frustrating silence.

"Bah," Viswamithra exclaimed. "The Gods are testing me. Testing you, I mean."

The king looked crestfallen. "I appreciate that, lord sage, but look at me. Vashista and his foul sons have turned me into an untouchable. I am shunned by my family, my kingdom, and now even the Gods have turned their backs to me. I fear that I will never reach heaven in this current body of mine."

Viswamithra slapped the sooty king. "Do not fret, fair Trisanku, for I shall send you to heaven myself if I have to."

Trisanku looked up at him in shock. Then he smiled through his grungy beard. "Oh thank you, thank you, wise Sage Viswamithra!" He began kissing Viswamithra's feet. His grovelling made Viswamithra feel good, like a proper sage.

Viswamithra had cultivated a massive reserve of spiritual power over his many years of intense meditation. He could feel it stirring within his psyche, a vast ocean of holy energy, swirling through his chakras, spreading behind his eyes and the palms of his hands.

With a single flick of his holy finger, Trisanku began to rise. As he rose, the ash and soot sloughed off his body, and steadily his features regained their former regalness. As the king rose higher and higher, Viswamithra felt his energy slowly trickling away, sand through a sieve. But still, he had so much more within him. Who's the superior sage now, Vashista?

With a surge of his sagely power, Viswamithra hurtled the king skyward. He lost sight of him among the clouds, but he could feel the tug of the king's weight on his chakras. Further. He pushed, expending even more power, and finally he felt the weight lighten. Trisanku had reached heaven. All thanks to me. Not the Gods, not Vashista, but me. 

But the clouds above him parted, and there he saw the king's limp body, no more than a speck against the sky, plummeting downward. Infuriated, Viswamithra redirected his energy to his eyes, and instantly the world took on a sparkling, ethereal quality. He could see heaven in the sky above. His spiritual sight allowed him to see the heavenly gates, and all the gods assembled before them. They stood side by side, arms crossed, heads shaking. The answer was a resounding "no."

Viswamithra became enraged. How could the Gods refuse me, the holiest of sages? All the spiritual energy he had amassed, all the prayers he had given them, and still they deny him? This was an outrage.

He caught Trisanku in the air and rocketed the king back upward with the invisible force of his will.

The Gods met him with a will all their own. Their power was formidable, a barrier strong enough to cause great thunderclouds to amass overhead. Viswamithra fought against them, pouring his vast reserves of energy behind his will, propelling the king upward mile after mile, then foot by foot, and finally every inch became a grueling battle.


Viswamithra felt his precious energy draining out of every orifice in his body. He began to feel like a sponge being squeezed beneath an elephant's foot.

Enough! 

He let the king fall, trying to think of a way to fulfill his word. I am a sage. I keep my promises. I help those in need. I am the best. 

He sat down in contemplation, crossing his legs, clearing his mind, and searching for inspiration. He began collecting what was left of his spiritual energy, as King Trisanku continued to fall.

It came to him like a lightning bolt. A Vajra. He gathered up all the energy that remained to him, concentrating it into its purest form. It became so blindingly bright inside him that he had to open his eyes for fear that he would be blinded and never be able to look inward again.

He saw Trisanku falling. A few seconds more, and the king would be no more than a royal puddle on the ground.

Viswamithra called forth his great well of energy. The torrential ball of pure spiritual power engulfed Trisanku, warping the very air around him, bending reality inside itself like a ball turning inside-out.

And then, in the blink of an eye, it dissipated, leaving behind a spherical hole in the world.

"Be at peace, my friend," Viswamithra uttered in prayer, exhausted from the effort. "If the Gods will not accept you into their heaven, I hope that you will find salvation within the heaven that I have created for you. Enjoy your eternal paradise, and know that Viswamithra keeps his promises."

Viswamithra stayed in meditation for three more years before he moved or spoke again. He was too drained to do much else. He had expended the last of spiritual power (and then some) to create a new heaven in the sky above, and to send Trisanku there. It would take many years of intensive austerities to regain all he had lost, but he was determined to grow stronger still.

I will surpass you, Vashista. 


Image: Indra and Viswamithra fighting over Trisanku: source

11 comments:

  1. Grayson, I enjoyed reading your story for week 4. I agree with you about how Viswamithra was portrayed in the reading you chose. I was not a fan of the depiction of his character but I did appreciate how you portrayed him in your story. I appreciated how your story ended with the determination of Viswamithra in the story. Meditation for three years is some serious dedication! Thanks for posting.
    -Tyler

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  2. Grayson, WOW. What a wonderful story! After reading your author's note, I was immediately pulled in. Your story had me hanging on to every word. You did a fantastic job of portraying Viswamithra's more selfish side. I also really liked how you set up your story. It was broken up into the perfect chunks so it didn't seem like I was reading too much at once. Great job! I will definitely be visiting your page more often!

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  3. Grayson, I really enjoyed your storytelling based on the reading you did this week from Amar Chitra Katha because I have (at least not yet) read this piece. Your description is beautiful in the introductory paragraph. I was honestly blown away by your description of Trisanku – I think you have a gift! The rest of your story is well written too. I am very impressed.

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  4. This was a pretty cool narrative . I enjoyed reading it. This story was not in the parts of the Ramayana that I read so it was cool to see something different. I liked that it was a battle of wills between a mortal and a god and the final resolution was not actually overcoming the gods but finding a new resolution all together. I would have liked there to be a little more conflict in the story. It did seem to go a little slow from the beginning through the middle. Conflict is the essence of the audience being able to take a journey with the character.

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  5. Grayson! This is a wonderful story! I definitely did not expect that ending. You were correct in your author's note; I did not like Viswamithra in the beginning. By the end, I thought it was awesome of him to expend all that energy so a downcast king could finally go to heaven. This was by far my favorite part.
    I do wonder what happens between Viswamithra and Vashista once Viswamithra gets enough energy back to become powerful. Maybe that could be the next chapter in you portfolio. I also didn't know why the gods would not allow the king into heaven; maybe this is something you could add on.
    One small suggestion I have is you making the italicized thoughts quotes. There were a few times I had to re-read a section because I didnt' realize I had switched to italics, so now he was thinking out loud.
    Overall, this was a wonderful story! It is obvious that it was very well planned and executed.

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  6. Grayson, you were correct in your author's note when you said this story had a more intense battle between Viswamithra and the God's. It made it more interesting, although I as concerned there fore a while at whether or not the king was going to survive that battle. Having the author's note at the beginning was a good touch because I was able to have it as a reading guide but it didn't spoil the overall plot of the story. The ending was definitely unexpected too. Knowing that Viswamithra was a sage but not necessarily the purest of heart since he was battling with the gods made his act of kindness towards Trisanku that much sweeter. A follow up story about Trisnaku and his adventures in that new heaven would be interesting to read! Who else would be there and what would it be like in that heaven compared to the one he was barred from entering? Overall, this was a great read!

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  7. Hi Grayson!!

    I’m so happy to be back again this week to take another look at your portfolio for my project feedback. As usual, I was not disappointed! My initial thought: wow!

    I think it’s really hard to develop a complex, riveting character in 1,000 words or less. That being said, you’ve absolutely managed it! Viswamithra’s arrogance shines through throughout your tale, but this arrogance is tempered by grudging determination that I, as the reader, have to respect. His rage toward Vashista is nearly palpable, and your final line, which actually gave me goosebumps, left no doubt that he would one day surpass the other sage.

    There were so many fantastic, powerful lines throughout your narrative. I loved the one about the king turning into a royal puddle—such a vivid image, and so much more descriptive than simply saying the king was about to hit the dirt.

    Also, your author’s note is fantastic! It really goes a long way in describing where your inspiration came from and your thoughts while reading the original. I also think it’s really interesting that you place it before the story. Not many other people do that, and I think it is really effective for your style of storytelling.

    I noticed one little grammatical thing: it should be “whom” not “who’ in that first sentence of your last author’s note paragraph—“we initially root for him”, not he. Other than that, it looked great! I am so impressed by your grammatical flow. You have a real knack for following grammar rules really well, but also ignoring them when it best fits the flow of the story (example: “his skin was grimy, covered in ash, his hair unkempt, his cheeks shallow”—I loved this sentence). That’s the mark of a great author!

    SO FANTASTIC! Can't wait to read more.

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  8. I did not really like Viswamithra either. He was too cocky. I have a lot of sympathy for the Trisanku. How sad! I cannot imagine someone going from a great and powerful king to being the lowest on the chain. Poor guy! I really enjoyed getting to read your story. You did a great job of expressing what they thought as well as adding some dialogue. You are such a great writer! I really felt like I could picture in my head what you were trying to express. You wrote a very honest and well written author's note that set the tone for the story. Putting the author's not at the beginning of your story was a good idea I think (in my humble opinion). Your picture was definitely on point and had great placement. You did a great of formatting your story into making it easy for the reader. Thank you for sharing your story! I really enjoyed it!

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  9. Hello Grayson! Great job on your story! It was a very pleasant story to read!

    I liked how you portrayed Viswamithra as hero that one doesn’t normally like. I am definitely still debating on whether or not I like him. Your story with the sage reminds me of Eragon and how your character had to rest for 3 years just to regain his energy from creating a new heaven. I do wonder though about Trisanku, is he the only one in that heaven? If so I imagine it to be extremely boring and lonely. I do really love how you pulled on our thoughts even in this short story, like how we feel about Trisanku and Viswamithra.

    I love the spacing and the simplicity of your story format. It is easy to read and your picture placement was spot on. I always have trouble with my pictures to be honest.

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  10. Hey Grayson,

    This is such a powerful story! You did a really great job with your imagery. It was all very vivid and put the reader in the story. I especially loved the last line- it game an extra "umph" of power and really ended the story well.

    I was a little confused about your capitalization of "Gods," since a reference multiple gods is typically lower-cased, while "The God" is capitalized.

    I also liked that you put the author's note at the beginning, rather than the end, because it gave a little background information for the story we were about to read, and that helped make sense of what was going on. I could tell you thought about the placement.

    One other, minor thing you might want to change would be the phrase about being "squeezed beneath an elephant's foot." He could be squeezed BY an elephant's jaws, or SQUISHED beneath his foot, but squeezing implies that there are two opposite forces (like an upper and lower jaw, or two hands) working against the object, while squishing can be one thing against another solid object, like the ground.

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  11. Hi Grayson,

    Congrats on getting the nomination for one of the best portfolios. I have read a couple of your stories throughout the semester and they were really great. I also chose you for one of the best portfolios because of the creative approach to your stories and how you designed your portfolio. I chose to read the battle of wills because the title is interesting and I wonder what it would be about. I never thought of putting the author’s note first but when I think about it, I should have been doing that for each of my stories. It really sets up the story nicely. Anyways, your story is what I expected, very creative with good details. I thought this was one of the best stories I have read from you because of the excitement the story presented. It was really enjoyable to read, which is important to keep the readers attention. Great job.

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